Ok, Mom.

In our house we've worked really really really hard with Jaylee in regards to talking back.  It used to be any sentence Van and I would say she'd immediately follow-up with an argumentative dissertation.  Sometimes all it would be is "hey, you could please take your dish to the sink."  Suddenly it was 30 minutes later and everyone was angry.  We worked with her for - I kid you not - over a year and she's still hit and miss, but most of the time will say "Ok, Mom" or "Ok, Dad."  It's been a big deal.

Cue Reagan.  She's grown up during this major influence of "okay-ness."  A few weeks ago she started saying "Ok, Mom" for pretty much anything.  Whether or not she was actually listening.  Perfect example took place a few days ago.  Reagan's favorite thing to do in our kitchen is fill up her glass from the water dispenser and then run around the kitchen with it until it is all splattered.  Then she refills her glass and starts the process again until she gets caught in the lake that used to be our kitchen floor.

Well, the other day we caught her on her first go-round.  I took her cup out of her hand, said "Reagan, no. Please stop it."  I took her cup and set it on the countertop.  She looked me in the eye and said "Ok, Mom." Van and I kept chatting at the kitchen table... not 3 seconds later Reagan had climbed up the dishwasher, retrieved her cup and was putting it in the water again.  As she was getting water, we asked her to stop she said "Ok, Mom" and kept filling her cup. Soo really the "ok, Mom" out of Reagan's mouth is rather useless.

Cue today.  Jaylee and I were cleaning up her bedroom and Reagan was doing her best to undo everything we were doing.  Jaylee got frustrated and took a toy out of her hand and said "Reagan please stop it!"  Reagan promptly said "Ok, Jaylee" taking the toy back out of Jaylee's hand and running in circles around the room.

Jaylee turned to me in a very exasperated voice said:

"MOOOM.  It's so frustrating when Reagan says "Ok" and then doesn't follow through.  Arrrgh."

Me, being the snarky Mom I am, said:

"Hmm.  How does that make you feel when someone doesn't really listen and does what they want anyway?"  said with a raised eyebrow and smirk on my face.

Jaylee understanding my lack of empathy towards her, rolls her eyes and says

"ooookkay Mom."

hahahahaha.

somedays this job just is too fun.

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I really needed this today.

If you have a moment, this article is well worth your time.

Completely what I needed today, thanks Allison. 

My Home As A Temple

"On the days I don't really feel like laboring for and with my family, my reluctance itself teaches me about my relationship with my Heavenly Father, His son Jesus Christ, and my own progress toward them. How much greater their love for us must be than what I am capable of, for they never tire of listening to our prayers nor are they inconvenienced by our constant need for their help......Much of my discouragement at home was due to a sense of failure I felt for not being able to artificially create sacredness there. How comforting it is to be released from that burden. With joy and gratitude I now realize I need only look for the way sacredness already surrounds me."

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30 Days of Thankfulness: Days 13-18

Day 13 - Date Night

Have I mentioned yet how much I LOVE date night?  No, well, let me plug it again:  I LOVE DATE NIGHT.  Both Van and I were beyond exhausted but we went to dinner and then spend the night on a crazy Target jumping spree looking for some great deals we'd found online.  It became rather hilarious. I loved spending time in the car just chatting.  We ended the night eating Peppermint Chocolate Chip Milkshakes from Chik-fil-a... DI. VINE.  So glad I get time with Van once a week, without it I might just go crazy.  He's my rock, my best friend, and the person I most want to talk with at the end of a long day.  Yay for eternity!!!

Day 14 - Rewards System

We've instituted a new system in our house to try and help Jaylee feel successful with good behavior, chores, and completing homework without the gnashing of teeth.  A fabulous lady in my ward whose son also struggles with ADHD and learning disabilities was introduced to this system at a parent support conference.  She walked me through everything. We're a week in and it's going well.  If you're interested in how it works let me know, I can write a post about the finer workings.   However, on Saturday we spent the day cleaning and getting our "point jars" decorated.  It was a fun day.  The rewards system kept the house quite and calm and Jaylee of course loved decorating.  I'm grateful for this new system and Jaylee's willingness to try it!

Day 15 - My Cuz

Growing up we were always very close to my cousins Kelley & Jen, even though they lived 2,000 miles away.  Luckily that closeness has stuck throughout our adulthood which makes it rather fabulous.  Generally we go awhile without seeing each other but this last year we've seen each other three times! Craziness.  She was in Atlanta for a work conference and was able to swing by Sunday morning/afternoon for lunch and a quick hello.   It was good to catch up one-on-one with Kel and let my kids get to know her better.   Of course, Jaylee pretended to give her a manicure... of course.

I'm thankful for great extended family.  They are a strength to me.

Day 16 - Visiting Teaching

This is my hope for all my LDS friends... I hope one day you get the opportunity to have an amazing visiting teacher.  One who just reads your cues and somehow is just always there, without you knowing how in the world she did it.  Becky, whom I adore, was my amazing visiting teacher.  I have tried to emulate her actions since moving to Atlanta, putting more time and effort and love into the women I get the opportunity to visit each month.  I've noticed a remarkable difference, not necessarily in my relationships with them but in my attitude.  I noticed one of my ladies made a comment on fb that suggested something was wrong.  My first reaction was to call and check on her, which I did - instead of thinking it was a good idea and not doing it.  We ended up talking for almost 45 minutes.  It was good.  I am grateful for the change I've seen in myself. I know that because I was blessed with a good example and friend I have changed.  I'll always be grateful for that, so thanks Becky.  Much love.

Day 17 - School Specialists

Jaylee has some difficulties at school that I haven't talked much about on this here blog.  Today was the meeting with the entire intervention team at her Elementary School to brainstorm about the tests and forward actions that needed to be completed to help Miss Jay.  It was a draining day, one of those where I just end up crying all afternoon.  BUT, through the tears and prayers, Heavenly Father helped me see that we were in such a good place for this particular help.  Jaylee's classroom is very small (only 16 students), because it's a charter school at the extra help is in-house rather than at the district building which means faster and more individualized help, amongst other strengths.  I'm grateful He led us to this particular school and Jaylee was given the teacher she has.  During her math assessment last week Jaylee broke down in tears and started to rip her paper.  Her sweet teacher came over, knelt down beside her, scratching her back and calming her down prompting her and helping her throughout the rest of the assessment.  I'm sure her teacher had other plans for that 'down time' but she chose instead to take care of my little girl.  VERY grateful for her school and her school teachers & specialists.

Day 18 - Good Friends

I have been blessed with some seriously awesome friends both here and there.  Thank you.  Thank you.  Thank you.   I am reminded of this on a daily basis, but this week I'm super thankful.   Big loves, internet high fives, and happy hugs sent.

Aww I love 30 Days of Thankfulness.  Makes me all sorts of warm and fuzzy. 

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Lori vs The School Bus aka The Day I Became THAT Mom

Background

Growing up I always secretly disliked when housewives would drop their children off at school in their robes.  Especially when they'd drive the carpool dressed like that.  You can add pretty much an accessory to match the day: glasses, no make up, curlers, slippers, and such. I realize now how harsh that judgment is, but at the time I kept thinking "when I am a Mom, I will never do that." 

famous. last. words.

Right now, I usually wake up at 4:30am to either workout or do my own personal study time before I wake Jaylee up.  I realize how crazy that sounds since I have two young kids.  However, it's the ONLY time during the day completely to myself so I try very very hard to drag my lifeless body out of bed to enjoy it.  

I'm generally get back from the gym somewhere between 6-6:15.  Jaylee's day starts at 6:15am-ish. She has to be to the bus stop by 7:05am. Trust me, it takes all 45 minutes to get her up, dressed,  breakfast eaten, and out the door. Every. single. blasted. minute.  It's not shocking for my neighbors to see me in my workout gear since I usually head back to the gym or am just heading to the gym after I drop Jay off.  However, I don't usually show up to the bus stop in my sweats or PJ's and I most definitely comb my hair, brush my teeth and sometimes even throw on a little mascara first.  That's just me, I know I'm paranoid, but we all have our things....

The Alarm Clock

I was beyond exhausted last night.  I fell asleep reading whilst cuddling at ohhh.... 8:30pm.  When Van finally pulled my no-don't-wake-me-up body upstairs at 10pm I was sure that waking up at 4:25am wouldn't be a problem at all.  Heck, I'd been asleep since 8:30! I usually end up going to bed at 10:30-11, so 8:30? Bueno! I set my alarm, snuggled into my new amazing sheets (more on that later) and fell promptly asleep.

I woke up feeling a little odd.  The room seemed a little too light and I was a little too rested.  I couldn't remember what day it was or if I had to be anywhere.  After sharing a dialogue with myself for a moment I came to the conclusion it must be Sunday why else would I be 'sleeping in.'  I rolled back over, found my appropriate nook in Van's back and fell back asleep.  Literally moments later I sat straight up with the awful realization "It's not Sunday! It's MONDAY!"  I flipped over my phone to look at the time.  6:42 am.  Awww CRAP.

I jumped out of bed, quickly brushed my teeth, and ran into Jaylee's room to wake her up.  My usually peppy, jump right out of bed 6 year-old was soooo not peppy.  JJ gave me a long exchange about how she wishes every day was Saturday cause she really. doesn't. want. to. get. out. of. bed.  She then rolls over and throws the blankets over her head.  Seriously?! TODAY.  Of all days for this child to appear?  I finally convinced her out of bed, pushed her into the bathroom where she pretended to fall asleep while brushing her teeth.  I brushed her hair and put on her shirt for her... she laid on the floor.  Quick glance to my watch 6:53am.  Come on, come on, come on.  She slid down the stairs as slow as possible.  I  had avoided using the words "Jaylee we're late" because that generally triggers a FREAK OUT.  We have created a time-nazi... more on that in a later post.  Sufficieth to say, as she curled up in the couch pulling the blankets over her head refusing to get her shoes on I dug deep within myself and muttered the words:

Jaylee, we're going to be late.

BAM. WHOOSH.  FA-REAK-OUT Jaylee appeared.  "Moooooommmm!!!! YOU made us late!!!!" 

Umm no, sweetheart. 

Zip forward a few moments.  At no point in this craziness did I realize I still had my PJ's on, or that my hair hadn't been combed, or my make-up wasn't on.  We were in the car on our way,  Jaylee's shoving a granola bar and glass of milk into the car with her, and we're speeding to the bus stop - only 3 blocks away.  We get there with one minute to spare.  Whew. 

The Bus Stop

The bus didn't come.  Yup, you read that right.  Either it came 5 minutes early (the other kids were there 5 minutes before we were and didn't see it either) OR it didn't come.  We waited until 30 minutes past our bus stop time before we decided we had missed the bus. Yes, that means I stood outside on the sidewalk for 30 minutes with my PJ's and flip flops on.  Maaan.  My car won.  I had the most seatbelts.  I gathered up the bus stop crew and headed to school.  In my PJ's.  As I pulled up all I could think of was "wow. I've crossed that line, I am now THAT mom."  

I drove home chuckling to myself.  When I walked in Van said "I need to go to school in 5 minutes!" Knowing my luck, his entire lot of classmates would be there when we drove up.   I quickly changed into my workout clothes, combed my hair, and threw on some mascara... because even though I was that Mom today... I had no, I repeat NO desire to be that wife.   Now because I've said that tomorrow will be the day I roll into Emory in my PJ's... cause life is cool like that.  

Summary

 My 27 year-old self is telling my 14 year-old self to stop rolling her eyes because... dude, sometimes the alarm doesn't go off, nothing goes right, and you're lucky that mom at least remembered to put on her PJ's!   

(although my 27 year old self is still slightly mortified that she actually drove the carpool car in her pj's... time will heal the mortification right? RIGHT?)

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Princess Party

In my congregation I have the opportunity to work with the 8-11 year old girls twice a month.  My co-leader and I plan activities that help them earn their Faith in God award.  They learn about the gospel of Jesus Christ & focus on how to better themselves individually by increasing talents and knowledge.  I absolutely love my co-leader, Bethany.  Couldn't have asked for a better partner in this calling.  To culminate the years lessons of love, morals, and service we chose to do a Princess Dinner.  The activities leading up to this night were so much fun, we focused on healthy eating, meal preparation, serving one another and proper etiquette.  The girls came ready to have a "proper meal." 

Bethany made each girl a small tiara and a name plate.  They freaked.

During dinner we gave the girls "points" for every good thing we noticed.  If they said "please" "thank you" or showed service and/or kindness to one another they recieved a point.  At the end of the night they were able to turn their points in for treats.  It really helped calm down their cute giggly princess selves and focus on the spirit of the evening.

I had the opportunity to give the lesson that evening.  We decided to teach the girls the story of Esther in the Old Testament.  Where we had been focusing a lot on the mannerisms and actions of a Princess we wanted to shift that focus to the spiritual side of truly being a Princess.  Esther was a great example of a true member of royalty remembering God and having courage to stand up for her beliefs.

Using the story of Esther I related it to their life in school right now.  Many of them are entering middle school and are finding opposition from their friends wanting them to do things that are wrong.  We talked about how we could be courageous like Esther and despite being unpopular or being scared of being unliked Heavenly Father is proud of us when we have courage.

President Monson spoke to the YW of the LDS Church last spring.  I borrowed the three points from his talk "May You Have Courage" and challenged the girls to follow the counsel of our prophet:

• First, the courage to refrain from judging others;
• Second, the courage to be chaste and virtuous; and
• Third, the courage to stand firm for truth and righteousness.

I was surprised at how in tune and intelligent even our sweet 8 year olds were and the discussion that took place over these three courageous choices.

What would an evening with the girls be like without a group shot?

...and of course, the silly shot.

yup, Regs has my BB and is sending someone in my phonebook a cryptic text message.

(i love that almost all the girls had taken their shoes off at this point, makes me giggle)

The best part about the evening, hands down: Jaylee was able to come with and soak in all this wonderfulness.  She is beyond excited to turn 8 and officially be in Activity Days.  It's all she could talk about for days.  I'm thankful for the opportunity to be involved in something that not only blesses my life, but blesses my children.

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Mini-Mommy

Van has been teaching Reagan a new phrase for the last month "Mini-Mommy."  He thinks Reagan and I look exactly alike.  I definitely see myself in her sometimes, especially our eyes.  But I don't often think WOW that's a mini-me! 

Until I took this picture and sent it to Van to elicit sympathy for my morning with our grumpy child...

then I went huh. Ookay. I can see it.

In other unrelated topics....  I randomly decided to cut my bangs

and I can now fit my hair in a pony tail SANS bobby pins. 

Breaking News, I tell ya, breaking news.

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30 Days of Thankfulness: Days 8-12

9 -Family Home Evening.  It's not a secret that this little part of our family life has always been a struggle.  Van has primarily been gone at night since we had children so it's been on my shoulders to do it.  I've been very spotty in my time as a Mom, but when we moved to Georgia I made a goal to do it every single week.  So far so good.  After hearing Elder Bednar's talk about consistency in the home, I am even more fueled to keep the tradition.  Monday was Jaylee's first opportunity to teach our little family home evening lesson.  It was especially great because Van was home.  She told us the story (pages 3 & 4) about when Joseph Smith had his leg operated on as a child and chose not to drink the liquor to numb the pain.  When she got to that point in the story she asked Van and I why we don't drink alcohol.  We explained that Van and I had both made a covenant with the Lord not to drink it, just like the Anti-Nephi-Lehies made a covenant not to use their swords to fight the Lamanites. (that's where we are right now in the Book of Mormon.)  She thought about that for a moment.

"Well... why? Does it make you sick?
"It can," Van said.
"What if you just drank ONE cup... would you get sick?" 
"It's possible," I said, "but I've never drank any so I've never had to worry about finding that out."

She paused.  Kept frosting her cookie.  Then smiled and said "Yah, I think that's a good idea.  I don't want to drink alcohol either."  Then she gave me a huge hug.    My cute JJ.

10- Little Person Hugs - Reagan is learning how to REALLY hug.  You know those hugs where they wrap their cute little arms around your neck and squeeze?  We worked on hugging and at the end of the day I said "I need Reagan squeezes!" She ran over squoze my neck and kissed me.  It made my day.  I'm so grateful for these girls.  My heart... it really bursts sometimes.
11 - Activity Days - Right now I have the opportunity to work with the young girls, 8-11 years old,  in our congregation.  This night we had a special dinner culminating the morals and values we had discussed in previous months (post coming soon).  It was a lot of work for my co-leader and I, but it was so worth it.  Van was unable to get home from school in time to help with the girls and since our church is a half hour away I had to resort to take my girls with me.  In the end that ended up being a HUGE blessing.  Jaylee got so much out of this experience.   I'm grateful for the opportunity to serve my church in this capacity.
12- Energy - My body is finally FINALLY feeling normal again.  It's been so zapped from being sick for the last month that I had forgotten what it feels like to feel GOOD.  Today I woke up with energy! I felt like a new woman!  To celebrate my surge of energy I redecorated every single wall in my house - no lie.  No picture or decoration was safe.   I love the changes.  This afternoon I'm heading to the park with the girls and am making cookies and I don't have to pretend to be having a good time!!  Dear Energy, it's nice to have you back!  VERY thankful!

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Firsts

This last week was full of firsts for our cute family.  Not any life-changing firsts, but firsts, nonetheless.

The First time.... 

• I watched Van play football with his PA team.  He scored a touchdown.  I like watching him. 
• Reagan sat and watched a full movie with me.  She even snuggled.
  
• Jaylee read an entire book by herself that wasn't sent home from school.  Thank you BOMC.
  
• Reagan said "you guys" (sorry southerners the West won)
  
• Reagan said a three word sentence without prompting. 
• We saw the sunrise outside our front door.  I tried all sorts of angles...but then realized that was the best it was gonna get, beautiful trees but they certainly get in the way.
  

yes, this is just directly out our front door.  have I ever mentioned i LOVE living here?

It was also the First time...

I've allowed myself to buy some sort of accessory from Target since moving here.

Please excuse the overly joyous face... pic was in a different context...I only had this picture and a kissy kissy one. So, the excited one won.

Reagan ate White Cheddar popcorn.  She's a fan.

this is the face she does now when I say "cheese."

Van studying at home outweighed Van studying at school.  Why?

It's the first time we've ever had a huge whiteboard hanging in our room with medical chemistry and phys written all over it.

Jaylee taught Family Home Evening on her own.

We took pictures of our surrounding neighborhood in fall.  Ahhh beautiful.

all within a mile of our home. sooo beautiful here. so crazy to me that we live in metro Altanta and there is still this much foliage. lovely.

First Time....

I've ever made sugar cookies, also Jaylee & Reagan's first time. 

Which meant using the cookie cutters I received as a wedding present for the first time. Sad, but true. I'm not much of a cookie maker.

 

eating the dough may of been life changing. thanks friend for the tip!

 not the first time Jaylee's thought I was a little crazy. 

• It was also the first week of my 21 Day Challenge.  Spanish words are careening through my head at crazy hyper speed.  Not sure how much of it I'm retaining.
• I texted my mom she texted back- multiple. times.  I think the world might be ending. Go Mom. 
• Amazingly enough I also got all my Christmas cards stuffed and written.  Now to address the labels.  Wow.  I feel like my Grandmother.  It's not even thanksgiving yet!
• Also, the first time we've lived in the South with a big tropical storm.  Hurricane Ida is having it's effects up here.  Quite interesting.
  

Strangely, this is the first time I really don't know how to end a post.

Sooo....

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30 Days of Thankfulness: Day 8

At church today all the children under the age of 12 gave a special musical program for the congregation.  They've worked on it all year and today was the big day.  Jaylee was excited and nervous and giddy simultaneously.  Because we've been working on the songs all year, I knew all the words and loved the songs. As any musical Mom would do, I was bopping along in my pew smiling and mouthing the words to Jaylee.

The last song spoke about why God gave us families.  I have heard this song over and over and over this year as Jaylee has song it.  But somehow, out of nowhere seeing my daughter sing this to me and the sweet spirit in the chapel, I got all teary:

"God gave us families to help us become what He wants us to be.

This is how He shows His love.

For the family is of God."

During the closing prayer all I could think of was my family.  The family I have been entrusted to care and nuture and love. How thankful I am that Heavenly Father saw fit to send us here in family units.  We learn from each other, we love each other, we serve one another, we learn Christ-like attitudes and unfailing love by working hard as a family unit to return to Him.  I know I learned so much from my Mom and Dad, but now as I parent I'm realizing that my children are the ones teaching me.  Goodness, the lessons I'm learning from being a parent are shaping the person I want to be.  The person I know I can be.

What greater gift, aside from the magnificient atonement, could he give us?  Heavenly Father GAVE us families to help us become what He WANTS us to be.  I am grateful for my family and the chance I have to live with them eternally.  

sidenote: During the program Sissy would climb on my lap, spot Jaylee, and shout at the top of her lungs "HI JJ! Jaylee! Jaylee! HI HI HI!!!" Made me heart melt and the people around us giggle. 

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Well... this is what I think, Mom.

This morning I caught Jaylee doing something she shouldn't have. I gave her "the look" and said "Jay, do you think you should be doing that?" hoping for some sort of repentant response.  Instead:

She pauses.

"Well... this is what I think, Mom. 

Cranes her neck to the side with a big smile and says.

"I shouldn't have done it in a place you'd catch me."

did I mention last week she said:

"I just have to wait until you're not paying attention.  As long as you don't know what I'm doing I can't get in trouble for it."

 ready. set. ulcer.

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